As it turns out, holding up two telescopes to your eyes like binoculars does not work at all, and now I have to move to a different state. That might not actually help in the grand scheme of things because the stargazing community is vast and well-connected, and I will probably now be known worldwide as ‘that one guy who thought he could bring two telescopes to a meteor shower and use them like binoculars’. My name will be whispered among stargazer meetings from then on, possibly as a cautionary tale and partially for a good giggle.
I’m not telling the conveyancers why that is, though. This is the last time I’ll ever be getting the services of conveyancers working here in Melbourne, and I’d like that experience at least to remain unsullied. Can’t have them finding out the real reason, and then every single conveyancing solicitor all around Australia will know me as ‘that one guy who thought he could bring two telescopes to a meteor shower and use them like binoculars, found out that it doesn’t work like that and then was so ashamed that he used the services of a conveyancer to move state’. I don’t feel like the conveyancing community would be quite as harsh about mocking me, but they’d still KNOW. And the truth will come out at some point, so I’d prefer it to happen when I’m already properly conveyed somewhere in the Northern Territory. You know, somewhere with plenty of hilltops but not very many people.
The worst thing is that I’ve spoiled the concept of meteor showers, forever. I’ll never see one without thinking of my horrible gaff. Then I’ll think of my old place of residence, about the companies in Melbourne. Title transfers are probably still all the rage, and the stargazing people are still laughing about it. I’m just going to stick to constellations from now on.