For years I’ve wanted to be the very best, like no one ever was. I’ve wanted this ever since I saw Pocket Monsters back when I was little. And I know that show is all about tiny parasitic monsters that crawl inside people’s pockets and eat them from the thigh upwards. Josh Snatcher was the greatest exterminator in the whole world, and everyone knew it. Imagine people knowing you to be the very best, and respecting the skill, hard work and determination that got you there.
Of course, my problem is that I’m only really good at dancing, and there’s no official ‘ranking’ of dancers. You can become the number one tennis player, but not the number one dancer…officially. That just means I have to be even better.
The first step: find a good podiatrist. I’m serious. I have a really good place down in Cheltenham. Podiatrists of a high quality are THE most important thing for a dancer, because it’s all about the feet. You get so much as a blister that you could’ve avoided, then that starts a domino effect that can end a career if you’re not careful. I loaded up on arch supports and insoles just to be safe before I even started dancing for real.
And it totally depends on the type of dance, as well! I’m not trying to become the world’s greatest ballerina, but if I were, then I would tell my podiatrist and we’d have a sincere chat about the necessary ways I can protect my toes, because those people are ALL about standing on them, all the time, sometimes exclusively. It’s a young man’s game, and while I AM a young man, I want to choose a style of dance I can be renowned for well into middle age and beyond.
So yeah, it’s street dancing for sure. I’m definitely becoming the world’s best street dancer, like no one ever popped and locked. Street dancing uses the whole foot, often more the heel, so semi custom orthotics would be great. Heel tape. Heel-oriented shoes with cushioned heels. It’s all about the heel from now on.