I’ve been training so hard lately that I think I’m starting to lose my mind. Everyone should probably stay away because a boxer without a mind is a dangerous person to be around. Why do I think I’m losing my mind? Well, a teacup just started talking to me. He’s a cool dude, Mr Tea, and seems to make a great personal trainer, but I’m pretty sure teacups aren’t supposed to talk, and they definitely aren’t supposed to wear sunglasses. Oh, great, now the chairs and singing a song about how I need to take it easy. All the while Mr Tea keeps yelling at me to keep training. This is turning into one strange day. Maybe I should find a boxing gym based near Brisbane and ask if people go through this often.
As great of an idea as that seems, I don’t know if I can trust myself to leave the house. Last time, I walked onto a spiral staircase and got stuck there for hours. I walked up and up, admiring the palm tree in the centre of the large staircase. Was that palm tree actually there? Well, no, it wasn’t. Neither was the spiral staircase. Turns out I’d been walking in circles for quite a while. Several people filmed it. You could probably find the video online, actually. Many of you may even have seen it. Definitely one of my most embarrassing moments. In fact, it’s right up there with the time I started training at an MMA gym close to Brisbane, but thought that MMA stood for Mega Marinara Assembly. I brought a bunch of ingredients for a marinara mix, ready to learn about assembling my sauce, only to find out it was mixed martial arts. That’s how I got into boxing, though, so I guess it wasn’t all bad.
Anyway, I really hope these hallucinations end soon. Maybe the phone I’m writing this on isn’t even real. Is anything real? Woah, I think I just blew my own mind.