Extravagant Reno

My parents are getting a new kitchen installed, and I’m apprehensive to say the least. They’ve always been cookery fiends, and have really stepped it up since they both retired last year. This might sound good in theory, but it’s been an endless procession of Heston-style creations that are technically impressive and wildly inventive, yet somehow unsatisfying on a casual Sunday lunch level.

Anyway, I’m convinced that their new food prep zone is only going to encourage them further. Good for them, I suppose. I should be thankful that they have a passion that they can share together. You should see what they’ve got in the works, though. It looks like a demonstration kitchen on a particularly high-end cooking show, or perhaps the workspace at a cutting edge designer restaurant in London or Berlin.

Let’s be real: when it comes to renovating kitchens, Moorabbin isn’t exactly the type of place you’re likely to see much of this type of thing. Most people just want a kitchen that’s light, bright, functional and just on-trend enough to impress their friends without dating too quickly.

But then, my folks have never been the sort to do things the way other people do them, have they? Of course they can’t just get a typical makeover.

I’d better find a way to embrace their whole avant garde chef thing, I suppose. There’s going to be plenty Sunday lunches featuring liquid nitrogen and gelatinised mushroom pate in the shape of quail feet on the agenda, so I might as well get used to it. Maybe I’m a bit jealous of my parents and their freedom to pursue what they want to do. They’re really the picture of a happy, creative retirement, and meanwhile I’m grinding away with barely enough time to throw together a breakfast smoothie and a stir fry.


Maybe if I got a kitchen makeover, things would be different. They really wouldn’t, though. I mean, I don’t even like cooking that much. I’d be more interested in a state-of-the-art tool shed or something.