Hardware Wars

Well, it’s up to me to make the final decision. I’ve gotten advice from all of my employees, and I think I’ve finally come to a conclusion. We need to go to war with the Hardware Bandits.

Since I’m playing the manager class in the role-playing game Hardware Store Bonanza, I’m the only one who can choose our course of action. I didn’t want it to come to this, and I seriously considered Harry’s proposal, but I think this is the only way. Although I wanted to get working on our new hardware store near Sandringham, there’s no point until the Hardware Bandits have been dealt with, once and for all. That’s why this is the path I have chosen. If we go to war with them, we can ensure that they never destroy another hardware store of ours again.

It will be brutal, it will be ugly, but we will be victorious. With my dedicated team, consisting of Jim, Franklin, Eleanor and Harry, we can achieve anything. Hopefully, the dice rolls are with us, and we can crush these horrible enemies of ours, ensuring that they never sell timber or hardware in Cheltenham again. The fantasy land of Melbourne will be free of their tyranny.

Then we’ll be back to selling the best Cheltenham timber and hardware, in the grandest shop this area has ever seen. And yes, I’m aware that our previous attack on the Hardware Bandits didn’t work, but that was just a skirmish. I’m talking about several full-scale assaults here. They won’t be able to hold us back.

Harry keeps insisting that this isn’t legal, and we’ll just get ourselves in even more trouble, but I’m sure the town guards will understand. After all, the Hardware Master of our game needs to have us win somehow. What’s he going to do? Kill our characters off or have them sent to jail? Then there’d be no game! The Hardware Kings are going to be totally fine.

– Geoff