Keep Boating Pure, If You Please

You know what really irritates me? The song about pina coladas. Doesn’t help that up until recently, I literally just thought it was a nice tale of a romance that took place on a beach, or at least near a beach…maybe.

Apparently a lot of things happen there. Then one day someone played it at work, while everyone was silently just getting on with whatever they were doing, and I found out that it’s a song all about having an affair. Well, almost. It’s not innocent at all…it is very NOT innocent! And the sea is supposed to be a place of FUN!

I consider this to be a personal affront to the good name of companies that conduct outboard motor repairs near Melbourne. All the work they do to make boating and exploring the sea a family-friendly affair. Look, I can JUST about accept the pina colada thing, so long as alcohol is consumed safely and kept out of the hands of minors. But all this business about having an affair? That sort of iniquity is supposed to be kept out of the world of boating and beaches. Boating and beaches are places of freedom and peace, and fun, and good times that you share on social media with your friends who the post things like ‘Awesome, wish I was there!’ and ‘dang, that anchor winch servicing is looking FINE’.

Take your affairs and illicit romances and keep them in the cities and towns where they belong. Not to mention, the song has nothing to say about outboard motor servicing. Companies in Melbourne that provide that service are the ones that keep the good times rolling. Every time a song is written about the beach, they should be mentioned. And don’t even get me STARTED on the fiasco that is the Copacabana…